Why can't time behave itself?!!

It was just Christmas, right? That was a few weeks ago? WHAT?!! It's AUGUST!!!!?? WTF?!! Where in crivens did that time go? I'm only 41, and already time has started to accelerate quite alarmingly. Not in a fun way, either. Every day,something different starts to either hurt, or begin to drop off! I'm hoping to last the week. If I make it to this Christmas, I shall get bladdered, and may live to see you in 2012...in the meantime...I'll complain.

Welcome, and Sinuses...

Who on earth would create something so evil?

I have been to the doctor many, many times, and am going to hostipule tomorrow for the ENT dept. to have a shufty at them.

It is a pointless exercise, as I know what they are going to say.

"We can't do anything. You're going to have to put up with it."

Can someone please suggest some industrial strength (legal) painkillers?

Otherwise I may be forced to cut my own head off with a rusty pruning saw, leaving me vulnerable to infection and/or tetanus......